As yesterday's positive report card shows, childrens do learn when standards are high and results are measured.
-- White House occupants, apparently, are another matter. As usual, the official transcript cleaned up the malapropism; New York, NY, September 26, 2007.

They ought not to be trying to slip special spending measures in there without full transparency and full debate -- those are called entitlements.
-- actually, those are called earmarks; Nashville, TN, July 19, 2007

I'm the commander guy
-- speaking to the Associated General Contractors of America, May 2, 2007

Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is.
-- criticizing President Clinton for not setting a timetable for exiting Kosovo, April 9, 1999

I think it's also important for the president to lay out a timetable as to how long they will be involved and when they will be withdrawn.
-- again referring to Kosovo, June 5, 1999

No doubt in my mind with your help Dave Lamberti will be the next United States congressman.
-- at a fundraiser for Jeff Lamberti, Des Moines, IA, October 27, 2006

Listen, we've never been stay the course....
-- October 22, 2006, appearing on ABC's This Week. (The White House web site includes at least six "stay the course" quotes over the past three years: 8/30/2006, 8/4/2005, 4/16/2004, 4/13/2004, 4/5/2004. and 12/15/2003.)

... [T]he United States Congress was right to renew the terrorist act.
--Atlanta, GA, September 7, 2006

See, the irony is what they need to do is to get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing that shit and it's over.
-- sharing his nuanced approach to Middle East diplomacy with British Prime Minister Tony Blair, at the G8 summit, St. Petersburg, Russia, July 17, 2006

Bush: Are you going to ask that question with shades on?
 
LA Times' Peter Wallsten: I can take them off.
 
Bush: I'm interested in the shade look. Seriously.
 
Wallsten: All right, I'll keep it, then.
 
Bush: For the viewers, there's no sun. [Some in the press corps laughed.]
 
Wallsten: I guess it depends on your perspective.
 
Bush: Touché.
-- at a Rose Garden press conference, Washington, DC, June 14, 2006. Wallsten suffers from macular degeneration, a disease of the eyes whose progress can be slowed by wearing sunglasses with UV protection.

Bush: But the day ended on a relatively humorous note. The agents said, "You'll be sleeping downstairs. Washington's still a dangerous place." And I said no, I can't sleep down there, the bed didn't look comfortable. I was really tired, Laura was tired, we like our own bed. We like our own routine. You know, kind of a nester. Like the way things are. I knew I had to deal with the issue the next day and provide strength and comfort to the country, and so I needed rest in order to be mentally prepared. So I told the agent we're going upstairs, and he reluctantly said okay. Laura wears contacts, and she was sound asleep. Barney was there. And the agent comes running up and says, "We're under attack. We need you downstairs," and so there we go. I'm in my running shorts and my T-shirt, and I'm barefooted. Got the dog in one hand, Laura had a cat, I'm holding Laura --
 
Mrs. Bush: I don't have my contacts in, and I'm in my fuzzy house slippers --
 
Bush: And this guy's out of breath, and we're heading straight down to the basement because there's an incoming unidentified airplane, which is coming toward the White House. Then the guy says it's a friendly airplane. And we hustle all the way back upstairs and go to bed.
 
Mrs. Bush: [laughs] And we just lay there thinking about the way we must have looked.
 
Noonan: So the day starts in tragedy and ends in Marx Brothers.
 
Bush: That's right -- we got a laugh out of it.
-- describing 9/11/2001 in an interview with Peggy Noonan in Ladies Home Journal, October 26, 2003 (reprinted on Salon.com, June 1, 2006)

I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best.
-- Washington, DC, April 18, 2006

I was going to -- I pick up the phone and say, Mr. Secretary, I've got an interesting question. This is what delegation -- I don't mean to be dodging the question, although it's kind of convenient in this case, but never -- I really will -- I'm going to call the Secretary and say you brought up a very valid question, and what are we doing about it? That's how I work. I'm -- thanks.
-- answering a question from a Johns Hopkins student about what law governs the actions of private military contractors in Iraq, Washington, DC, April 10, 2006

And it's now come to the -- and so how do you defeat their -- now, if you don't think they have a ideology or a point of view, and/or a strategy to impose it, you're not going to understand why you think the United States ought not to be as active as we are.
 
But I believe differently. I believe they're bound -- these folks are bound by an ideology. I know that they have got desires. They say it. This is one of -- this is a different -- this is a war in which the enemy actually speaks out loud. You heard the letter I wrote -- read from -- they didn't speak out loud on this one, but nevertheless, it's a -- we've got to take their word seriously.
-- answering a question from a Johns Hopkins student who asked whether the constitution that Mohammed established for the city of Medina might not form the basis for democracies in the Middle East. The letter Bush refers to, supposedly written by Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, was leaked to NY Times correspondent Dexter Filkins as part of a propaganda campaign to exaggerate Zarqawi's role. Washington, DC, April 10, 2006

Were you the only black man in Salt Lake City?
-- speaking to a Katrina survivor in New Orleans, LA, who had lived on canned goods for days before being evacuated to Utah, reported by Time magazine, March 14, 2006

... [A] prosperous, democratic Pakistan will be a steadfast partner for America, a peaceful neighbor for India, and a force for freedom and moderation in the Arab world.
-- the White House later explained that Bush was referring to the Muslim world. New Delhi, India, March 3, 2006

This deal wouldn't go forward if we were concerned about the security for the United States of America.
-- discussing the sale of US ports to Dubai Ports World of the United Arab Emirates, Washington, DC, February 23, 2006

... [T]here's a custom in our country for people to express themselves, and it's good.
-- Manhattan, KS, January 23, 2006

Countries such as ours have an obligation to step up, working together, sanding, sending a common message, to the Iranians, that, uhh, uhh -- that it's -- the behavior -- kind of -- trying to -- uhh, clandesintly develop a nuculer weapon, or using the guise of a civilian nuculer weapon program to get the know-how to develop a nuculer weapon is unacceptable.
-- Washington, DC, January 13, 2006

Laura and I's spirits are uplifted any time we go to a school that's working, because we understand the importance of public education in the future of our country.
-- Glen Burnie, MD, January 9, 2006

Don't buy gas if you don't need it.
-- Bush's solution to the energy crisis caused by hurricane damage to drilling and refining operations in the Gulf Coast region, Washington, DC, September 1, 2005

[I]t's got to be doubly devastating on the ground.
-- after surveying hurricane damage from a height of 1,700 feet in Air Force One, August 31, 2005

He's a good rider.
-- after biking with seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong, Crawford, TX, August 21, 2005

I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend.
-- preparing for a visit to Denmark, Washington, DC, June 29, 2005

[H]e's the PhD, and I'm the C student, but notice who is the advisor and who is the President.
-- introducing Secretary of Energy Samuel Bodman, Lusby, MD, June 22, 2005

This isn't political talk. This is true.
-- speaking to seniors in Maple Grove, MN, June 17, 2005

[My] retirement age is 2,008.
-- President's Dinner, Washington, DC, June 14, 2005

See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda.
-- Social Security "conversation," Greece, New York, May 24, 2005

... [T]he American people now are beginning to realize we have a serious problem when it comes to Social Security. And that problem begins with people like me.
-- remarks at the Republican National Committee Gala, Washington, DC, May 17, 2005

... I appreciate the spirit of Republicans and Democrats comin' together. But it wasn't a 70-uh, 5-year fix. This was 1953. We're only in 2005.
-- referring to 1983 bipartisan legislation to strengthen Social Security, Cedar Rapids, IA, March 30, 2005

I think I'm the first President ever to have stood up and said, bring all your ideas forward
-- Cedar Rapids, IA, March 30, 2005

This notion that the US is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table.
-- Brussels, Belgium, February 22, 2005

Because he's hiding.
-- Bush's explanation as to why Bin Laden has not been caught. Air Force One, January 14, 2005

Who could have possibly envisioned an erect-sh -- an election in Iraq at this point in history?
-- Washington, DC, January 10, 2005

Any time of the year it's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life.
-- Washington, DC, December 21, 2004

We're nearing the end of a year where -- of substantial progress at home and here abroad....
-- press conference, Washington, DC, December 20, 2004

I know there's a big definition about what that means. Well, again, I will repeat. Don't bother to ask me. Or you can ask me. I shouldn't -- I can't tell you what to ask. It's not the holiday spirit.
-- responding to a question (that may or may not have been asked) about payroll tax. Press conference, December 20, 2004

A submarine could take this place out.
-- comment to his tour guide at the Clinton Presidential Center, Little Rock, AR, November 18, 2004

And the reason why I'm so strong on democracy is democracies don't go to war with each other.
-- Washington, DC, November 12, 2004

I want to especially thank Scotty. I want to thank Scotty for saying -- nothing.
-- speaking about press secretary Scott McClellan, in the Roosevelt Room of the White House, November 4, 2004

With the campaign over, Americans are expecting a bipartisan effort and results. I'll reach out to everyone who shares our goals.
-- Washington, DC, November 4, 2004

Uhh -- Gosh, I -- don't think I ever said I'm not worried about Osama bin Laden. It's kind of one of those, uhh, exaggerations.
-- Tempe, AZ, October 13, 2004, (in contrast to the statement at his press conference, March 13, 2002: "I'll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him.")

I'm mindful in a free society that people can worship if they want to or not.
-- during the final 2004 presidential debate, Tempe, AZ, October 13, 2004

... [T]echnology is going to change the way we live for the good for the environment. That's why I proposed a ... hydrogen-generated automobile.
-- St. Louis, MO, October 8, 2004

We've got an issue in America. Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country.
-- Poplar Bluff, MO, September 7, 2004

I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental -- supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts....
-- Erie, PA, September 4, 2004

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
-- speaking to top Pentagon brass, Washington, DC, August 5, 2004; reported by Reuters.

Fuck yourself.
-- Vice President Cheney to Sen. Patrick Leahy in the Senate chamber during a discussion of Cheney's ties to Halliburton, June 22, 2004, Washington, DC.

Governor Bush and I are also absolutely determined that [we] will restore a tone of civility and decency to the debate in Washington.
-- candidate Dick Cheney during a campaign speech, August 4, 2000

And I am an optimistic person. I guess if you want to try to find something to be pessimistic about, you can find it, no matter how hard you look, you know?
-- Washington, DC, June 15, 2004

To paraphrase President Kennedy, there's America, and then there's Texas. We have great relations with France. We work closely with the French government on a lot of issues.
-- in response to a reporter who repeated Kennedy's observation that "Everyone has two countries, their own, and France," Paris, France, June 5, 2004

I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know.... A West Texas girl, just like me.
--Nashville, TN, May 27, 2004

I don't think our troops should be used for what's called nation-building.
-- spoken during a nationally televised debate, October 11, 2000.

I kind of like ducking questions
-- at the Associated Press luncheon, Washington, DC, April 21, 2004

I'm sure something will pop into my head here in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying to come up with an answer, but it hadn't yet.
-- responding to the question of what lessons had been learned from 9/11, press conference, Washington, DC, April 13, 2004

In my judgment, when the United States says there will be serious consequences, and if there isn't serious consequences, it creates adverse consequences.
-- appearing on NBC's Meet the Press, February 8, 2004.

... [S]ometimes when you don't measure, you just shuffle kids through. Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling.
-- speaking to the US Conference of Mayors, Washington, DC, January 23, 2004

We shall call him moon man from now on.
-- Kill Devil Hills, NC, December 17, 2003. On the 100th anniversary of the Wright brothers' flight, reporters anticipated an announcment concerning moon exploration, but had to settle for this comment after actor John Travolta told Bush he'd volunteer to go.

I want to remind you all that in order to fight and win the war, it requires an expenditure of money that is commiserate with keeping a promise to our troops....
-- press conference, Washington, DC, December 15, 2003

I'm going out to our friends and supporters and saying, would you mind contributing to the campaign for the year '04? To me, that's -- and that's a part of politics, no question about it. And as you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and listen to what I have to say.
-- press conference, Washington, DC, October 28, 2003

The more successful we are on the ground, the more these killers will react.
-- after meeting with his "war council" to discuss escalating violence in Iraq, Washington, DC, October 27, 2003.

I appreciate people's opinions, but I'm more interested in news. And the best way to get the news is from objective sources. And the most objective sources I have are people on my staff who tell me what's happening in the world.
-- Fox News interview with Brit Hume, September 22, 2003.

We don't need to be breaching no dams that are producing electricity.
-- Burbank, WA, August 22, 2003, as reported by KOMO-TV (subsequently amended to "any dams"). The remark came as Bush tried to take credit for increased salmon runs in the region. Sen. Joseph Lieberman remarked, "George Bush taking credit for increased salmon populations is like a sailor taking credit for the tides."

It's a different kind of combat mission, but, nevertheless, it's combat, just ask the kids that are over there killing and being shot at.
-- interview with Armed Forces Radio and Television Service, August 14, 2003.

We want those objections heard, of course -- every citizen needs to hear a voice.
-- Summerhaven, AZ, August 11, 2003.

Security is the essential roadblock to achieving the road map to peace.
-- Washington, D.C., July 25, 2003.

The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur.
-- repeated to an audience in Brighton, UK, by politician Shirley Williams, according to London Times arts writer, Jack Malvern. Reported in the Washington Post, July 10, 2003.

We're laying the groundwork for a national campaign -- a national campaign that I believe will result in a great victory in November 2002.
-- Tampa, Florida, June 30, 2003.

Wait for us to succeed peace. Wait for us to have two states, side by side -- is for everybody coming together to deny the killers the opportunity to destroy.
-- Kennebunkport, Maine, June 15, 2003.

I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things.
-- aboard AirForce One, June 4 2003.

I recently met with the finance minister of the Palestinian Authority, was very impressed by his grasp of finances.
-- Washington, DC, May 29, 2003.

First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill.
-- Washington, DC, May 19, 2003.

So one of my visits -- one of the reasons I'm visiting here is to ask the question to people. Because if there's -- moving too slow, or people are saying one thing and the other thing is not happening, now is the time to find out.
-- Pierce City, MO, May 13, 2003.

I think war is a dangerous place.
-- Washington, DC, May 7, 2003.

I don't bring God into my life to -- to, you know, kind of be a political person.
-- interview with Tom Brokaw aboard Air Force One, April 24, 2003.

You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order....
-- responding to a reporter who asked what Bush's message to the Iraqi people was, Washington, DC, April 13, 2003

The Syrian government needs to cooperate with the United States and our coalition partners and not harbor any Baathists....
-- probably a difficult requirement in Syria where the Baath party has been the leading political party since 1973. The national committee of the Baath party is effectively the decision making body in Syria, and party membersship exceeds one million. Washington, DC, April 13, 2003

We're fighting an enemy ... that will wear civilian uniforms....
-- Washington, DC, March 25, 2003.

...If we use military force, in the post-Saddam Iraq the UN will definitely need to have a role. And that way it can begin to get its legs, legs of responsibility back.
-- Lajes, Azores, March 16, 2003.

We appreciate our own support for ensuring that the just demands of the world are enforced.
-- Washington, DC, March 13, 2003.

I know there's some concern about overstating of numbers, you know, invest in my company because the sky's the limit. We may not be cash flowing much, but the sky's the limit. Well, when you pay dividends, that sky's the limit business doesn't hunt.
-- Kennesaw, GA, February 20, 2003.

...[A]s we insist that Congress be wise with your money, we're going to make sure we spend enough to win this war. And by spending enough to win a war, we may not have a war at all.
-- Kennesaw, Georgia, February 20, 2003.

So today I ask you to challenge your listeners ... to start a ministry, which will find the children of those who are incarcinated and love them.
-- Addressing the National Religious Broadcasters' Convention, Opryland Hotel, Nashville, TN, February 10, 2003. The quote was cleaned up before the speech was posted on the White House web site.

I believe we can achieve peace at home....
-- Washington, DC, January 30, 2003.

Should any Iraqi officer or soldier receive an order from Saddam Hussein or his sons or any of the killers who occupy the high levels of their government, my advice is don't follow that order. If you choose to do so, when Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal.
-- St. Louis, MO, January 22, 2003.

I'm the person who gets to decide, not you.
-- reacting to a reporter's statement in the lead-in to his question that "we're headed to war in Iraq," Crawford, TX, December 31, 2002.

I had a cordial meeting at that meeting last night. We greeted each other, cordially.
-- Prague, Czech Republic, November 21, 2002.

One of the problems we have is that enough people can't find work in America.
-- Bentonville, AR, November 4, 2002.

The solid truth of the matter is, when you find -- if you want to help heal the hurt -- if you want to hurt people and help people in pain, the best way to do so is to call upon the great strength of the country, which is the compassion of our fellow Americans.
-- Bentonville, AR, November 4, 2002.

Who is this chicken shit?
-- "Poppy" Bush at a White House reception in 1991, after Senator Paul Wellstone had urged Bush Sr. to focus more on education issues and less on the Gulf War.

It's been raining, so she needs to sweep the porch, because the President of China is coming tomorrow.
-- explaining Laura Bush's absence to an audience in Charlotte, NC, October 24, 2002. Asked the next day if she appreciated the remark, Mrs. Bush shook her head and mouthed, "No."

All of us here in America should believe, and I think we do, that we should be, as I mentioned, a nation of owners. Owning something is freedom, as far as I'm concerned. It's part of a free society... It's a part of -- it's of being a -- it's a part of -- an important part of America.
-- Washington, D.C., October 15, 2002.

You need to listen carefully to the debates that goes on in our nation's capital. You see, some of them are -- goes on with people trying to get to the nation's capital. Some of them, they talk about the government's money.
-- Manchester, NH, October 5, 2002.

The definition of a patriot in the face of the evil done to America is to serve something greater than yourself in life, is to help somebody in need, is to love a person one at a time, as we remember that -- which I know we will.
-- Manchester, NH, October 5, 2002.

We need an energy bill that encourages consumption.
-- Trenton, NJ, September 23, 2002.

There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again.
-- East Literature Magnet School, Nashville, Tennessee, September 17, 2002. Couldn't quite get out "... fool me twice, shame on me."

...[T]here is a value system that cannot be compromised, and that is the values that we praise. And if the values are good enough for our people, they ought to be good enough for others, not in a way to impose because these are God-given values. These aren't United States-created values. These are values of freedom and the human condition and mothers loving their children.
-- interviewed by Bob Woodward, Crawford, TX, August 20, 2002.

I'm the commander -- see, I don't need to explain -- I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being the president. Maybe somebody needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation.
-- interviewed by Bob Woodward, Crawford, TX, August 20, 2002.

I'm thrilled to be here in the breadbasket of America.
-- Stockton, CA, August 23, 2002. Stockton is 60 miles east of the Bay Area, and 25 miles west of the Sierra Nevada, known for watersports on the Sacramento Delta, perhaps, but not much grain production....

I believe the enemy has wakened a spirit in this country that understands in order to fight evil, in order to fight evil -- that in order to fight evil, you can do so by loving your neighbor just like you'd like to be loved yourself.
-- Stockton, CA, August 23, 2002.

There was certainly a very strong sentiment that we're on the right track when it comes to holding people to account who lie, steat or cheal....
-- responding the question of what was the most important thing he learned from the recent so-called economic forum. Crawford, Texas, August 16, 2002.

Let's see. There I was sitting around the table with foreign leaders looking at Colin Powell and Condi Rice....
-- responding the the question of why he was not addressing the National Association for the Advancement of Colored Peoples convention, Washington, DC, July 10, 2002.

There was no malfeance, no attempt to hide anything.
-- explaining the difference between Harken Energy's sale of subsidiary Aloha Petroleum, and similar transactions involving Enron shell companies "Jedi" and "Chewco," Washington, DC, July 8, 2002.

Everything I do is fully disclosed, it's been fully vetted.
-- responding to (and not denying) the suggestion in Paul Krugman's op-ed column that Bush's past included the corporate misbehavior he was now criticizing. Milwaukee, WI, July 4, 2002.

As the United States works to bring peace around the world our diplomats and/or soldiers can be drug into the court. That's very troubling.
-- Milwaukee, WI, July 2, 2002.

I read the report put out by the bureaucracy.
-- referring to his own Environmental Protection Agency report to the United Nations on global warming, June 4, 2002.

Very good, the guy memorizes four words, and he plays like he's intercontinental.
-- at a news conference in Rome, Italy, after NBC News correspondent David Gregory followed a question to Bush in English with one in French to President Jacques Chirac. Gregory's question to Bush was, "I wonder why it is you think there are such strong sentiments in Europe against you and against this administration?" May 26, 2002.

We hold dear what our Declaration of Independence says, that all have got uninalienable rights....
-- addressing community and religious leaders in Moscow, May 24, 2002.

There is a sniff of politics in the air.
-- in a closed door session with congressional Republicans, Washington, DC, May 16, 2002.

I'm not familiar with the anacronyms.
-- Ari Fleischer, White House press conference, Washington, DC, May 16, 2002.

My foreign policy is -- Fidel Castro is a dictator.
-- Washington, DC, May 14, 2002.

You see, the President is -- can still learn.
-- First African Methodist Episcopal Renaissance Center, Los Angeles, California, April 29, 2002.

Some of the biggest sources of air pollution are the power plants, which send tons of admissions into our air.
-- Wilmington, NY, April 22, 2002 (Earth Day).

And so, in my State of the -- my State of the Union -- or state -- my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation -- I asked Americans to give 4,000 years -- 4,000 hours over the next -- the rest of your life.
-- Bridgeport, CT, April 9, 2002.

I appreciate Lieutenant Governor Judi Kell for being here. Great to see you again, Judi.
-- referring to Connecticut Lieutenant Governor Jodi Rell, Bridgeport, CT, April 9, 2002.

Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of "Hop on Pop."
-- Penn. State University, April 2, 2002.

But there needs to be a focused, coalition effort in the region against peace.
-- discussing the Middle East, Crawford, TX, March 30, 2002.

I talked about making the death tax permanent, so that Rolf can pass his assets to a family member, if he so chooses.
-- O'Fallon, MO, March 18, 2002. The White House official transcript added a footnote indicating Bush meant "repeal" of the tax.

My trip to Asia begins here in Japan for an important reason. It begins here because for a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times.
-- from the transcript of Bush's remarks to the Diet of Japan. Reported by U.S. Newswire, February 19, 2002. The White House transcript amended the statement to "half a century."

We've not got no better friend than South Korea.
-- greeting the South Korean press, February 17, 2002.

It isn't really a sissy pretzel.
-- Laura Bush, appearing on The Tonight Show, February 11, 2002.

He was a supporter of Ann Richards in my run in 1994. And she did name him the head of the Governor's Business Council, and I decided to leave him in place just for the sake of continuity. And that's when I first got to know Ken and worked with Ken, and he supported my candidacy.
-- responding to a question about ties to former Enron chairman Kenneth Lay, reported in the Houston Chronicle, January 10, 2002.

I don't intend to read it all.
-- referring to the education bill he had just signed, Hamilton, OH, January 8, 2002.

We are working hard to convince both the Indians and the Pakis there's a way to deal with their problems without going to war.
-- Washington, DC, January 7, 2002. The term 'Paki' is considered an ethnic slur in Britain. "The President has great respect for Pakistan and for the Pakistani people," White House spokesman Scott McClellan later clarified.

Not over my dead body will they raise your taxes.
-- Ontario, CA, January 5, 2002.

I know the governor likes to hunt rabbits down in Louisiana. Sometimes those rabbits think they can hide from the governor. But, eventually, he smokes them out and gets them. And that's exactly what is happening to Mr. bin Laden, and all the murderers that he's trying to hide in Afghanistan.
-- with Governor Mike Foster, Washington, DC, December 19, 2001. Foster later admitted "... I don't know anybody who hunts [rabbits] that way."

And we have a role in the government -- in the state government, in the federal government -- to provide immediate help as part of an economic security package, is to provide immediate help.
-- Orlando, FL, December 4, 2001

I want to go back to Washington. There is strong advice that I not, primarily from the vice president.
-- reported in Newsweek (International edition) December 3, 2001

I can assure you, when I was a senior in high school, I never sat in an audience saying, gosh, if I work hard I'll be President of the United States.
-- Crawford, TX, November 15, 2001

We don't have a beef with Muslims.
-- Washington, DC, October 25, 2001

You know, if you find a person that you've never seen before getting in a cropduster that doesn't belong to you, report it.
-- answering a reporter who asked what Americans should be on the lookout for in response to the announcement of a general terrorist threat, news conference, Washington, DC, October 11, 2001

And we'll be tough and resolute as we unite, to make sure freedom stands, to rout out evil, to say to our children and grandchildren, we were bold enough to act, without tiring, so that you can live in a great land and in a peaceful world.... And there's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail.
-- speaking to employees of the Department of Labor, Washington, DC, October 4, 2001

I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.
-- Washington, DC, October 2, 2001

...[W]hen nations are under attack, now is not the time for politics.
-- with Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien, Washington, DC, September 25, 2001

This crusade ... is going to take a while.
-- Washington, DC, September 16, 2001

There's one terrible pilot.
-- Sarasota, FL, September 11, 2001. During a town hall forum in Orlando, FL, December 4, 2001, Bush described his first reaction to the report that a plane hit the World Trade Center tower.

A vampire is a -- a -- cell deal you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone.
-- Denver, CO, August 14, 2001

My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the -- in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen.
-- Crawford, TX, August 13, 2001

A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it.
-- Washington, DC, July 26, 2001, commenting on negotiating with Congress

First, let me say how honored I was to be able to be in the presence of the Holy Father... He's an extraordinary man who is, by virtue of his leadership and his conscience and his presence has not only affected political systems, but affected the hearts and souls of thousands of people all around the world.
-- Rome, July 23, 2001

I haven't thought about the nuance of it.
-- Washington DC, June 24, 2001, when asked by Peggy Noonan about the prospect of Russia joining NATO

They're not talking about firm price controls. They are talking about mechanism to -- as I understand it, a mechanism to mitigate any severe price spikes that may occur, which is completely different from price controls.
-- reported in Molly Ivins's syndicated column, June 26, 2001

Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.
-- Gotheburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001

Can't living with the bill means it won't become law.
-- Brussels, Belgium, June 13, 2001

So on behalf of a well-oiled unit of people who came together to serve something greater than themselves, congratulations.
-- greeting the University of Nebraska women's volleyball team, Washington, DC, May 31, 2001

If you're like me you won't remember everything you did here.
-- Yale University, New Haven, CT, May 21, 2001

There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead.
-- Washington, DC, May 11, 2001

But I also made it clear to [Russian President Vladimir Putin] that it's important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe.
-- Washington, DC, May 1, 2001

Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican.
-- Declining to answer reporters' questions at the Summit of the Americas, Quebec City, Canada, April 21, 2001. When asked about the remark later, his staff said he was joking.

This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.
-- Washington, DC, April 10, 2001

You can fool some of the people all of the time and those are the ones you want to concentrate on.
-- Washington, DC March 31, 2001

As you know, we're studying safe levels for arsenic in drinking water. The scientists told us we need to test the water glasses on 3,000 people. Thank you for participating.
-- Washington, DC, March 31, 2001

Do you have blacks, too?
-- Washington, DC, March 2001, during Bush's first meeting with Brazilian President Fernando Henrique Cardoso. Reported April 28, 2002 by columnist Fernando Pedreira of the Estado Sao Paulo in an article titled "An Overwhelming Ignorance."

You teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.
-- Townsend, TN, February 18, 2001.

Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods.
-- Austin, TX, December20, 2000

The great thing about America is everybody should vote.
-- Austin, TX, December 8, 2000

They misunderestimated me.
-- Bentonville, AR, November 6, 2000

They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program.
-- St. Charles, Missouri, November 2, 2000

This is an impressive crowd, the haves and the have-mores. Some people call you the elite. I call you my base.
-- Al Smith Memorial Dinner, New York, NY, October 19, 2000

It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.
-- Arlington Heights, IL, October 24, 2000

...a hemispheric energy policy where Canada and Mexico and the United States come together. I brought this up recently with Vicente Fox, who's the newly elected president. He's a man I know from Mexico. And I talked about how best to be able to expedite the exploration of natural gas in Mexico and transport it up to the United States, so we become less dependent on foreign sources of crude oil.
-- during the first Presidential debate, Boston, MA October 3, 2000

I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.
-- Saginaw, MI, September 29, 2000

More and more of our imports are coming from overseas.
-- reported in Slate, September 25, 2000

Bush: There's Adam Clymer, major league asshole from the New York Times.
Cheney: Oh yeah, he is, big time.
-- Labor Day Rally, September 4, 2000

After all, religion has been around a lot longer than Darwinism.
-- reported in George Magazine, September, 2000

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.
-- Reuters, May 5, 2000

I'm a uniter not a divider. That means when it comes time to sew up your chest cavity, we use stitches as opposed to opening it up.
-- on David Letterman, March 2, 2000. (the audience booed)

I understand small business growth. I was one.
-- New York Daily News, February 19, 2000

The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case.
-- Pella, IA, as quoted by the San Antonio Express-News, January 30, 2000

Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
-- Florence, SC, January 11, 2000

I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.
-- Nashua, NH, January 28, 2000

No.
-- responding to Dallas Morning News reporter Wayne Slater's 1998 question asking "Were you ever arrested after 1968?", reported in The New Republic, November, 1999. Bush's 1976 DUI arrest received wide publicity in October 2000.

Kosovians can move back in.
-- quoted on CNN's Inside Politics, April 9, 1999

I was a pit bull on the pantleg of opportunity
-- quoted in Shrub by Molly Ivins.

It's not the governor's role to decide who goes to heaven. I believe that God decides who goes to heaven, not George W. Bush.
-- Houston Chronicle.

I didn't -- I swear I didn't -- get into politics to feather my nest or feather my friends' nests.
-- Houston Chronicle

When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame....